Our Six Month Cruisiversary

(November 26, 2017)  It’s our six-month cruisiversary today.  Six months ago today, we left a “normal” life and moved onto the boat.  Having lived in our new home now for six months, I feel I can say we actually live on a boat.

But at the same time, the novelty hasn’t worn off.  We’re not the least bit tired of it.  We’re not the least bit ready to go back to a “normal” life.

So much has changed in the last six months.  We’ve all changed.  We’ve all grown.  We’ve had higher highs than we ever had in our land-based lives.  And, while we’ve had some lows living on the boat, we haven’t had lower lows than what we had on land.  Those low-lows were from the dark days when we were working 60-hour-plus weeks, barely seeing one another, too stressed out to make our time as a family quality time; any time together, beat and exhausted and angry, was all we could manage.

Now, our time together is nothing like that.  Some people, when talking about living in a 400-square-foot floating apartment with their family, don’t think they could spend that much close time with their families.  I never worried about it.  Now, it’s not that I don’t worry about it – I know that I love it.  My family is comprised of caring, empathetic, supportive, intelligent, exciting people.  They’re a privilege to be around.

For my part, it’s difficult to count the ways in which I’ve changed.  Partly because there are so many obvious ones, but also partly because so much significant change has also been so subtle.

I’m stronger now.  Physically stronger.  I can grind winches and slide hatches with ease that, six months ago, I struggled to operate.  I can walk for miles.  I love walking.  I love having to walk to get to the store, to dinner, to the laundry.  Unfortunately, I haven’t lost any weight, but Rich is down several pounds, so at least one of us has something to show for it.

I’m less stressed and more emotionally flexible than I’ve ever been in my life.  I’ve always been fairly high-strung, but several months of constantly changing carefully planned itineraries simply because the weather decided not to cooperate fixed that right up.  In the past, in “normal” life, when things didn’t go according to plan, everything seemed to go south.  On the boat, it just means a different fun and exciting adventure awaits.

I’ve become a better parent.  The girls have always been good and easy kids, but on the boat I feel that I actually have time, and emotional faculties, to parent them.  I can take the time to be patient with them, and teach them, rather than screaming them into compliance.  I have the patience to give them consistent consequences, including consistent praise when they earn it.  I can take more time to hug them, and to listen to their feelings and explanations when they’re not cooperating or they disagree.  And to me, it seems obvious that the girls are less stressed and more willing to cooperate because of it.

I’ve most definitely become a better sailor.  It seems obvious that six months on a boat would have that effect, but when we left, I had so little confidence in my boating abilities that I wasn’t sure I’d ever get there.  Before we left, I wouldn’t handle docking if my life depended on it – now, I can dock just fine.  I’ve been offshore for the first time in my life, and farther north than I’ve ever been.  I read the sails better than I used to, and most importantly, I trust myself as a sailor much more.

But, I can’t emphasize enough the sense of calm, and lack of stress, that I’m able to enjoy often now, that wasn’t even a part of my life before.  Sure, we still have our stressful moments, but in between, life is relaxing and enjoyable.

Sometimes, I’m still surprised to find us out here.  I feel like we’re not mature enough to run a boat.  After all, that’s a thing that only our parents could do, right?  Kids can’t do that, and we’re still kids… right?

There are, of course, things I’m still working on.  Weight is the big one (and always is).  A reduction in stress hasn’t helped that situation like I thought, or at least hoped, it would.  Organizing the boat, and finding a place for everything, seems to be another constant opportunity for improvement.  But, now we have the time to focus on these improvements, and the patience to cope when they’re not as forthcoming as we’d like.

Those are just a few of the ways in which I’ve changed and grown over the last six months.  I know the other members of my family have changed and grown also.  For example, Morgan wouldn’t step on a rock when we first left for Alaska – now, I can’t keep her off of them.  They all have their own stories, and I wish they could share them here.  But for now, I’m writing mine, and hoping that it makes a difference for others.

One thing I haven’t felt in the last six months is regret.  I don’t regret the decision we made for a second.  It was far and away the best thing we could have done for our little family, and we’re a better family for it.